Did you think of me today?

Friday, June 30, 2006

Love Story

他说他很爱她他说会守护她
他送她玫瑰花一切美得不像话
从朋友变成情人她不再只有自己
她爱他爱得彻底真心溢满了甜蜜

时间看清一个人开始令人昏沉沉
他像变了一个人太蛮横
她开始悬著疑问不想再等他承认
不再要任何伤痕

谁爱谁谁又流乾了眼泪
谁后悔难分难舍太伤悲
他爱谁谁应该止住眼泪
她心碎谁又该乾脆离开
谁爱谁谁又能反反覆覆
谁后悔谁在忍受著孤独
谁了解他退出她孤独
谁了解谁退出谁孤独

爱得太盲目
谁不满足

_________________

I feel good... It's the weekend finally... And I just finished tuition... Seems to feel like the commitment is done... I am free... Even though many unhappy things had happened this week, all I want is this weekend to forget them all...

Eating my pocky now and watching sports illustrated model search... Just chill... Typing away in my blog and also playing maplestory... I am again doing so many things at once... But life alone is not challenging enough to do just one thing at a time...

Everyone seems to be living a active/busy life... I, on the other hand, gets tired so easily... Haiz... Why?? Haiz... Must be that period of the time...

Tml meeting ben for lunch... Then after that I will go get my hair cut, new shoes, new purse... Hahaha... feel like shopping but no one is free to go with me!!! Haiz... Then at night shall head down to zouk with carrie... But... Aiya... Dunno lah see how 1st... Coz I am in pain...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 10:42 PM
and no one can stop her...

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Eugh...

I feel so sick... Just feel like puking all the time... I just dun know why... Though I feel sick, I just don't wanna take MC... Coz I got no money to see doctor already!!! Haiz...

Been wanting to cash in my cheque from my attachment for so long but nv got around to it... Today went to the rivervale plaza but there is no cheque deposit box there!!! Impossible... That means tml morning I must go down to CP to throw it into the box... Haiz... So troublesome...

But if I dun cash it in, I won't get the money then cannot go drinking le... Hahaha... So I rather take the trouble... But my colleague said there will be a 5day clearing week... I dunno what he means but I just pray pray lah...

When is he gonna come back?? Haiz... Seems to me like as if he just disappear on me just like that... Well, if he ever did, I will be so pissed off!!! Just 2 days and it feels like forever... And life is throwing obstacles at me...

Woo-hoo!!! Got my pocket money!!! Yeah... Can cut hair, get new track shoes, go drinking... Wahahaha... Great! I love it... Just don't wanna worry...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 9:39 PM
and no one can stop her...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Painful moments...

Bruise the size of a strawberry on my thigh... Unbelievable how clumsy I've become...

Work is alright today... Just been talking and talking with Fran... Just about everything under the sun was mentioned... Gossip and lotsa rubbish... De-soldering and soldering in the process as well... So glad I am a woman and can multitask...

Well anyway, I got splashed by melted soldering lead so it wasn't that great... But it hurt only for a short while... The bad part is when u get poked by component legs and bleed... With the threat of blood poisoning... Haiz... Hahaha...

But after lunch I start to feel really bad... Also not too sure what is wrong... Just feel really bloated and pain in my tummy... It continued til night time... Was feeling so uncomfortable when out with carrie and naelin just now... It just got worse when we had dinner and then walked around abit in Harvey Norman... Almost blacked out with the pain...

I miss him... Yes I do... But what can I do?? Mope around?? No... I will nv... Bought choc to cheer me up... Anyway pay comes in already!!! Yeah... Time to party in Zouk!!!

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 10:09 PM
and no one can stop her...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Disappointments

What exactly must happen in life before you know you must give up?

The future is uncertain... Worse is that I don't exactly look forward to it... It's true... My life is always work work work... I have fun... But it is not exactly something I can indulge myself due to the lack of time... That's why I always want to make full use of time... It's something I am short of... The same reason why I hate it when time is wasting...

I have 3 more weeks of attachment to go... But immediately after, school camp starts... The only good thing is that I will get 1 week break before I have my hall camp... At least I hope I do at least get the one week break... I am so drained out coz the weekend is never enough... 2 whole weeks of being totally uncontactable... Just dun miss me too much guys...

But the thought of not enough sleep, running around school/hall/Singapore, you can see just how enthusiastic I am... Haha... But at least I can now train my stamina... Which reminds me I have alot of preparation to do before camp starts...

Carrie jio me go zouk this saturday... I am looking forward to it definitely... Sure would like to party after a stress-filled week... Hahaha... It's just too bad james gonna go m'sia and miss it... But what the heck... I will not brood about it... (tho my mind is constantly going back to the subject)

I guess it's true that once you got it all, you don't think that anything is enticing anymore... You'll always be striving for something more... More and more and more... The grass is greener on the other side... Even better when the other side comes with a pool, beer and bikini babes...

I am so glad my final year is coming up... One more year to endure before I am free... One more year to put in all my hard work... My heart, my soul, into a project... To show that I can do it... I will do it with grace... I swear never to get sidetracked... Not even a tornado will blow me away... My studies shall be my priority...

So now tell me, when in life you think you must give up??
Ans: When your heart turned cold, ur spirit broken...
You just need someone to hold you...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 8:22 PM
and no one can stop her...

Saturday, June 24, 2006

I love...

Hahaha... Stayed in the hotel with james and jesse... It was relaxing... Slacked and watched tv... In a way, I got to know james abit more now... The late night talks... The feeling of love... Hee hee... This is for you, james darling...

Took this picture when going to carrie's house this afternoon... Hahaha... Just something I feel like doing... Cabs like this... Running all over Singapore... So cool... Coz it's saying what I wanna say...

Watched "She's the man" with carrie last night... It was so funny... How she tried to act like a man... Hahaha... The funniest part is where the spider went into the room and they got so freaked out they jumped on their beds and ended hugging each other... They screamed at each other and at the spider... And then the telephone rang and shocked them they screamed again!!! It was so goddamn funny I remembered I just cannot stop laughing...

But today's not exactly the best day of my life... My necklace broke... My earphone is mute on one side... Haiz... But it is fine as long as I am happy... I hope my pay is coming... I need to get a new pair of sports shoes I guess... And go shopping... I need to save up in case of school term too... Wished I can worked longer and earn more...

Wonder what we can do next week... I am always like that... Like to be well prepared... Schedules and stuff... I am so sleepy now I guess I shld be sleeping instead... Have to go out and meet carrie to go pick out the stuff that I left with her... Slippers, necklace and phamplets...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 10:46 PM
and no one can stop her...

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Falling...

I remembered there was a time when I was chatting with Jan and talking to her about the feeling of falling in love... We were sharing our past relationships, talking about 1st loves... So many relationships after, we have both lost our feeling of being loved and loving others... We no longer can fall head over heels in love...

I am very much afraid of that... I can remember the feeling of being in love... The freedom of trust... It is not something I wanna lose... After many betrayals, no longer is the heart easy to open... There's always holding back... And the end result is a love-hate relationship...

Can't say everything's as smooth as I want it to be... Maybe not at the moment I dunno... But I think I can safely say I am happier than I was...

At work, drama happens everyday... My colleagues cannot get along with this particular person... Sometimes the person gets on my nerves too... But I guess bear with it will be a way to deal with it... 3 more weeks!!!

Had gyozas just now... It was damn nice... If u're free, go see this... Cool...
http://gprime.net/video.php/spraypaintart

Gonna stay out this weekend... Now I am packing for it... My whole family's infected with virus... So scary... I dun wanna be infected... Haiz... I am forever waiting for the other ball to drop... Expecting, waiting...

________________________

原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离

原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 9:23 PM
and no one can stop her...

Sunday, June 18, 2006

心酸

利用听不懂，看不懂的语言，呈现了这篇。

虽然时间不长，心碎还是有可能的。。。我可以说一道，心里不一定那么得想。。。但是男人不会了解的。。。他们只会更糊涂，更乱。。。

宁愿不要想这样多，希望未来会更好。。。要求不多就不会失望了。。。我会尝试看开一点。。。可能会失败，或者是成功。。。心甘情愿就好。。。

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 10:31 PM
and no one can stop her...

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Blogs...

They work for and against you...

Just spending the lazy saturday in a certain part of orchard... It was great... Watching American Pie Wedding again on my laptop and laughing away...

The downside was just that my phone had to die last night... Leaving me totally uncontactable... I came back to my room in hall last night... Opened the door and had a shock for a whole 15 mins...

The cleaners were so professional that they carried my bookcase up on my bed and left it there after cleaning... I spend close to 2 hours sorting out everything... I know I am gonna have a big problem when I need to shift stuff home... Haiz... I am dead meat...

I couldn't really sleep... Finally fell asleep in my empty room at 230am and sleep til 730am... I woke up when it thundered and starts to pour... Seeing that it is still early, I went back to sleep... Finally woke up again at 9... Then I went to shower and prepare to pack to go home... Carrie is still not here...

I din get to meet her and there is no way i can contact her!!! I told myself the only way there is is to go home and charge my phone as well as call her to see where she is... Finally got home and called her, she's in my hall!!!

We agreed to meet up at CP and then take bus down to orchard... After which we proceed to relax and slack for til 9... Lazy bums we are... Wahahaha... I din actually slack that much coz I suddenly have work on the brochure to do... I am glad to finally finally get it out of my hair...

I just hope life is as good as this... Coz I am satisfied... Really...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 6:19 PM
and no one can stop her...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Let It Go... Let It Be...

I am finally at peace... Hahaha... Dunno why I am so relieved... But I am glad I am...

Monday I went to the ECP... Initially it was supposed to be an outing to parkway parade... But it ended up into a walk along the beach... Guess it is really calming to do so... Feeling the sea breeze, hearing the waves... Looking at the moon rising... Almost heaven...

But tuesday onwards wasn't so good... Rained during lunch and I walked back in the rain... Then fell sick with slight fever... Meeting after work at TCC paradiz centre with YT & CJ... Then had more work to do and the dateline is so short... But it is a good progress...

After the meeting, I went down to Swensens PS and meet up with carrie and james... Though I was exhausted, I am sure glad to see the 2 closest pple in my life now... But aches and throat pain sets in once I reach home... Because there were so much work to do too, I decided to skip work the next day...

I rested on wednesday, spending my time with james... He has the greatest life, no need to work... So lucky... Well, I guess life's not fair... Evening time, we had dinner at sakae sushi (doc say must eat light food -- Sushi??) and head down to crown prince swensens for ice cream with carrie... Choc crunch when you are sick is not a good idea... But I only know that on Thursday...

Went back to work today... I tried my best for the whole day... But still I come back exhausted... Watched some tv, did some work... Now... Time for bed... Hahaha... Such is my sad life...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 10:06 PM
and no one can stop her...

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Beachy Me

I finally, finally, FINALLY get to go to the beach... Yesh!!! Went there today morning with my best friend... We had quite a hot time... One of the times I actually wore very little and tan... Hahaha... Though it was hot, I enjoyed it... But carrie can't take the heat so we left at 1130...

And it was a good thing we did... Coz after our shower, we went to take the blue line to the visitor departure center... Halfway thru the ride, it started to pour... Phew... Lucky din get caught in the rain...

We got back to harbourfront and then got our lunch at Breeks!... My food wasn't that nice but I still force myself to finish it... Bland fish and pasta in mushroom sauce... Carrie's chicken is quite nice however... I helped myself to her whipped potato... Hee hee hee...

We were supposed to go back to my house... coz she wans to get songs from my computer... But on the NEL, one of my dudes contacted me and in the end, plans were change and we head out to town with the dude...

I was wearing some really worn out top... And feeling really arkward... Then I got a new t-shirt... Nice t-shirt that says "This shirt would look even better on your floor." Nice huh? Hahaha... I love it... Will be cooling to wear out on sunny days too...

We hanged out til around 7+ then carrie and me went back to my house... She stayed till 10+ and head back out...

It is true that I am really missing him badly... I know he still cares... At least my stubborn part... I don't understand why he doesn't reply my msges, doesn't wanna contact me anymore... Is there really someone else?? Is it I am the one who has been so dumb that I don't even see it when he is not really serious about me? I really dunno... But I go with my heart... Even if it shatters into such tiny pieces and when the wind blows, they will fly to u...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 10:55 PM
and no one can stop her...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Alone... In this world...

Yes I am sorry... But seems like it is all too late... In no mood for anything... I am thinning down... To the point that a demin skirt which was bought not too long ago can be slid off without having to be unbuttoned...

Yes i miss him... But what to do... He no longer wants me anymore... I guess he has decided I am not worth it... There are better gals out there... I also know I can't just let go like this... I guess I can slowly let go... Or try to... But now it is not working...

I can't sleep well. No appetite too... Haiz... I wanna go running so badly... But weather so cold and my bed looks so snuggly... I am back to my illness "sleeping avoidance"... I wish... I can't do that at home... Can't let my heart heal...

Headache plagues me every night... I can only bear with it... Cramps and everything... Oh... help... I wanna do rebonding... And soon... Slim down too... Be my best...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 8:43 PM
and no one can stop her...

Monday, June 05, 2006

Artist: Backstreet Boys

Song: I Still

Album: Never Gone

Who are you now

Are you still the same

Or did you change somehow

What do you do

At this very moment when I think of you

And when I'm looking back

How we were young and stupid

Do you remember that

No matter how I fight it, can't deny it

Just can't let you go

I still need you

I still care about you

Though everything's been said and done

I still feel you like I'm right beside you

But still no word from you

Now look at me

Instead of moving on, not refuse to see

That I keep coming back

yeah, I'm stuck in a moment

That wasn't meant to last

I've tried to fight it, can't deny it

You don't even know that

I still need you

I still care about you

Though everything's been said and done

I still feel you like I'm right beside you

But still no word from you

No, No...

I wish I could find you

Just like you found me, that I

Would never let you go(need you, care about you)

Though everything's been said and done, yeah

I still feel you (I still feel you)

like I'm right beside you (Like I'm right here beside you)

But still no word from you

________

Artist: Backstreet Boys

Song: Crawling Back to You

Album: Never Gone

Everybody knows

That I was such a fool

To ever let go of you

But baby I was wrong

And yeah I know I said:

We'd be better off alone

It was time that we moved on

I know I broke your heart

I didn't mean to break your heart

But baby, here I am

Banging on your front door

My pride's spilled on the floor

My hands and knees are bruised

And I'm crawling back to you

Begging for a second chance

Are you gonna let me in?

I was running from the truth

And now I'm crawling back to you

I know you're in there

And you can make me wait

But I'm not going away

That's the least that I can do

Just to tell you face to face

I was lying to myself

Now I'm dying in this hell

And girl, I know you're mad

I can't blame you for being mad

But baby, here I am

Banging on your front door

My pride's spilled on the floor

My hands and knees are bruised

And I'm crawling back to you

Begging for a second chance

Are you gonna let me in?

I was running from the truth

And now I'm crawling back to you

If you could see

these tears I'm crying

Touch these hands

that can't stop shaking

Heal my heart

that's heavily bleeding

You would see a different man

But baby, here I am

Banging on your front door

My pride's spilled on the floor

My hands and knees are bruised

And I'm crawling back to you (come on)

Begging for a second chance

Are you gonna let me in? (let me in)

I was running from the truth (running from you)

And now I'm crawling back to you

Banging on your front door

My pride's spilled on the floor

I was running from the truth

And now I'm crawling back to you

Yeah

Now I'm crawling back to you

Crawling back to you

I'm crawling back to you

Crawling back to you

______________

Not so good, not so bad... Work today was so boring... Haiz... Then results came out... 1st time I cleared all my modules in one sem... I am looking forward to the new semester... Truthfully...

However, things are not so good after that... Haiz... It is always the matter of the heart... I am always the one who makes sacrifices... And I am always in the wrong... Always the one to forgive...

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 9:20 PM
and no one can stop her...

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Bed Problem

I've just gotten my new bed yesterday... Black leatherish feel... It was nice or at least look nice when it was tidy... But this morning I woke up with bad pain over my right shoulder and down the back... OMG it is so BAD!!! I can't turn my head...

Had previously changed my bed becoz the mattress's spring is poking out at my back... Though it was not so good but it is tolerable... Plus the fact that it is super single helps alot too... Got more space...

Last night, when I was sleeping on my bed (which is downgraded to single due to space limitation), I woke up 3 times to check if I fell out of bed yet... So scary... I think I am really reliant on the wall which feels more secure to me... But I guess I just have to get more used to it...

Yesterday was quite fun. My camp committee members went out for steamboat dinner together... A funny incident is that the shop doesn't accept any cards... Not even NETS... Unbelievable... Some of us digged out money to help my chairperson fork out the money to pay for all the people... But it was alright...

But I've been wanting to go shopping... But I always like the opinion of others and no one wants/can shop with me... It is horrible... I want new bras, perfume... Since waiting for people to get perfume for me is so hard, forget it I better get it myself...

_________________

You said, I only hear what I want to.

You said, I talk so all the time.

You said you caught me coz you want me and one day you let me go

You tried to take away a keeper or keep me coz you know you're just scared to lose

Kaylin the Kitten says @ 11:11 AM
and no one can stop her...