I can't hate you anymore
Tired...
Singing is something someone does when he/she is happy... More and more of it nowadays, I am dreading it... I just feel so stressed... And no matter how much he feels badly for me can change the fact that I am stressed... The fact that I joined choir was not for points anyway... Why make it this way?
When I need someone around they are always not around... Whatever shit about having me to ask is all bullshit... Why do I have to ask? Why don't they offer some of the time? If I have to ask, and you have to reject, both the people involved will feel bad... If you would have just offered in the first place but I reject, at least only one party will feel bad... What are the odds that I will reject in the first place?
I really feel I am one of the more outspoken and initiative people... I wish to be more... But I just can't... I understand you need me to be more... To always be the one who offers my hand... But I just can do that anymore... The price of losing just gets higher and higher each time... I can't afford to lose...
Relationships are just like playing with stocks... If you dare to play it, the stakes maybe high but so are the rewards... If you play carefully, returns may be small, but you'll last longer, and who knows, the rewards you gain in the long run may cover the little losses you've made...
I am babbling rubbish again... But i am still waiting... Always looking... Maybe I am more than I am now... The cold siren waiting for her love... I know that ultimately no human love will survive as long as me... That it is meant to end one day...